


I’m (Not) Okay, I Promise

by JjdoggieS



Series: Watching The Umbrella Academy [7]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Ben feels guilty, Five Loves His Siblings, Gen, Just in general, Reginald Hargreeves sucks, Sibling Bonding, ben loves his siblings, but it gets soft at the end, five helps ben talk shit out, kind of sad, talks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:20:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25963507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JjdoggieS/pseuds/JjdoggieS
Summary: Five has a very important talk with Ben after hearing his brother talk about something, concerning.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Ben Hargreeves
Series: Watching The Umbrella Academy [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1854889
Comments: 6
Kudos: 140





	I’m (Not) Okay, I Promise

As Allison pulled Vanya off towards room, likely for their sleepover, Five pulled Ben away and into the library. Figuring it had been their refuge when they were younger, sometimes Vanya and on occasion Klaus joining them, when their siblings were being just too much that day; Five thought it would be a pretty good place for the, possibly difficult or touchy, conversation.

“What’s up Five?” Ben asked, which Five was thankful for. He’d never liked being the one to initiate the conversation.

“I think that,” Five started, trying not to upset his brother, “we need to talk about-”

“What I said? To Klaus?” Ben guessed. Five nodded and he continued, “I only said those things to motivate our idiot brother. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

Five scoffed, barely holding back from rolling his eyes, “I’m sure you didn’t mean it like that Ben, but, the implication that you aren’t a ‘good’ person is still there. And either you can talk to me about it or I can get Allison to come talk to you. Make you talk about your feelings and shit. Your choice.”

His brother quickly made his choice between talking with Five or Allison, and said, “Our entire childhood, dad made me, us, train and use our powers for his own gains, for stupid missions that the police could’ve handled.” Ben’s voice getting more frustrated and angry than Five had ever heard him as he talked.

“But when I died,” Ben continued, “I thought I’d finally be able to just stop. Not having to play a hero anymore. While I was walking towards this light that was calling me, Klaus called me back, back to The Academy right after my funeral. And when he wanted me to stay, I did. Because I was scared of whatever that light was.” 

Ben took a studying breath, Five put a comforting hand onto his brother’s shoulder before he continued, “But the afterlife wasn’t much better than life. The entire time I was dead, I only stopped Klaus from doing drugs once. Right before our sister cause the apocalypse. Which only happened because we were assholes to her, except you.-”

“I was an asshole to Vanya too.” Five cut in.

But his brother just shook his head, “Not like the rest of us were. There’s a reason she called you her ‘sole confidant’ in her book Five. You at least tried to include her in things, talked to her more than just exchanging pleasantries at the dining table or in passing in the halls. The rest of us always excluded her, just because dad told us to, but you wouldn’t.”

“And I don’t know if it was because you saw something in Vanya that the rest of us ignored, or if it was just to spite dad,” Ben continued, gaze kept to the floor, “and honestly I’m not sure I want to know. But you tried, that makes you far better than the rest of us.”

‘That’s a lot to unpack’ Five thought. “Ben,” he started, “firstly, I am by no means better than any of you guys, if anything I am far worse. But more importantly, you can’t guilt yourself into thinking you were responsible for something you had no control over.”

Ben looked quite confused, asking, “What does that mean Five?”

“Let’s start with the thing with Klaus,” Five said, Ben nodding, “you were never expected to take care of Klaus, in life or in the afterlife, but you did. Because you are a great brother and an amazing person. You tried your best to get our, sometimes dimwitted, brother to get his act together, or at least not pass out in a puddle of his own vomit. All you could do was tell Klaus what to do, it was entirely on him to act on it.”

Five waited for a moment, letting Ben absorb what he’d just told him before continuing, “Next, Vanya.” Five noticed Ben shook his head slightly, attempting to refocus himself as Five talked, “You can not blame yourself for following what dad told us to do. We were all young, naive, impressionable little kids, eager to get the approval from a man who would never give it to us. So when he’d tell us to do something, most of us would follow his instruction without even thinking to question it. Part of growing up, you know being mature, is learning to recognize when the people you were supposed to be able to trust and protect you, didn’t to their job, and they hurt you, intentionally or not, and you learn not to make the same mistakes again.”

Ben was quiet for a moment, but Five could see the tension being released from his brother’s shoulders. “What about with dad?” Ben asked.

“Well, dad is an irredeemable asshole. Who abused and tortured seven children throughout their childhoods, just because they were born with powers.” Five explained, “He is a power-hungry tyrant who never should've been allowed to buy, not adopt, seven babies. But honestly, I’m glad he did.”

“Why?” Ben asked, sounding genuinely surprised.

Five tried to fight the smirk that found its way onto his face as he said, “Well, if he hadn’t, I never would’ve been able to get to know you weirdos.” They both laughed at Five’s answer, although it was entirely true. Five couldn’t and didn’t want to imagine a life where he never met his siblings.

After the two’s laughter ceased, Five and Ben moved towards the doors of the library. “Hey Five?” Ben started.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. I love you Ben.”

“Love you too Five.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like it! Please let me know what you thought! I'm hoping it's not too sad or anything.
> 
> This one took me an oddly long time to get started on.
> 
> I've decided on the order for the additional scenes, and once I've finished those I'll be starting the 2nd season.
> 
> The order is going to be, after this one after lunch with Luther, Diego, Five, and Ben, then it will be Allison & Luther during the 2nd break, followed by Five & Vanya during the 2nd break, after that will be Allison & Luther after finishing season 1, and ending on the sleepover.


End file.
